The Wisconsin Investor
Each week, we bring you interviews with some of Wisconsin's top real estate investors who share their tips, tricks, and strategies that you can implement right away. This show is dedicated to helping Wisconsin real estate investors elevate their game. Along with interviews, I'll also dive into hot topics in solo episodes and feature experts from various real estate sectors across Wisconsin.
The Wisconsin Investor
Beyond $9 Million in Mistakes: How Childhood Beliefs Shape Your Investing
Brad Chandler opens up about his remarkable dual journey as both a wildly successful real estate investor with 4,500 deals under his belt and as someone who overcame deep-seated personal struggles that once threatened everything he built.
The conversation takes a profound turn when Brad reveals how a seemingly routine therapy session for his son's anxiety unexpectedly uncovered his own unresolved childhood trauma. This discovery launched him into a transformative healing journey that would radically change his approach to business, relationships, and life itself.
Brad doesn't hold back on the consequences of operating from unhealed trauma, candidly sharing how subconscious limiting beliefs cost him $9 million across five devastating real estate mistakes. From a $930,000 loss on a property where he misunderstood a title search to a $1.9 million trademark lawsuit fueled by ego rather than business logic, he connects these financial missteps directly to the "I'm not enough" story programmed into his childhood nervous system.
The most powerful segment comes when Brad explains his breakthrough realization: every negative behavior—from workaholism to substance abuse to relationship problems—stems from untruths formed between birth and age 10. Through his "Joy Regenerator" technique, he demonstrates how neuroplasticity can rewrite these neural pathways in just 3-4 hours of targeted work, freeing people from decades of destructive patterns.
For real estate investors specifically, Brad offers a paradigm-shifting perspective on success. By healing the root causes of limiting beliefs first, investors make clearer, strategic decisions unhindered by emotional baggage. They build businesses based on impact rather than validation-seeking, which paradoxically leads to greater financial success than directly chasing money ever could.
Ready to transform your life and business through this groundbreaking approach? Take the quick self-love assessment at unlocklessmitlessyou.com/quiz and discover how addressing your subconscious programming might be the missing piece in your investment strategy and overall wellbeing. You can also dive deeper with Brad by listening to his podcast, How to Be Happier For Entrepreneurs streaming wherever you listen to your podcasts.
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Wisconsin Investor Podcast and, as usual, I have another amazing guest that I'm going to be bringing you guys today. But before I do, as I do on every episode, I'm going to give you a little commercial today for Wisconsin Discount Properties, who sponsors the show. And at Wisconsin Discount Properties, every single week we are putting off-market deals in your inbox. 6 am in the inbox every single week and all of these deals we don't put it out unless there's a way to make money on the deals. Oftentimes we only get one or two offers on these deals and somebody ends up making $40,000, $50,000 on these rips that everybody else is passing on. So don't be that guy. If you're looking to get in on off-market deals, go to wisconsindiscountpropertiescom, put your information in and you'll start getting emails every single week with off-market deals. With that, now let's get into today's episode, because we have a lot to cover. Today I have my good buddy, mr Brad Chandler, with me. Brad, what's going on, bud?
Speaker 2:Hey man Just living the dream.
Speaker 1:Yeah, buddy, brad, tell us a little bit about tea. Most of the time I'm bringing an investor in here that is in our market, ripping deals, that kind of thing. But you are not in Wisconsin. You don't do business typically in Wisconsin, but give us a little background on. You're the real estate side of Brad Chandler and you do have some Wisconsin connections.
Speaker 2:I do. I'm a badger, Go Bucky. So in ninth grade I read a book on how to buy real estate with no money down by Robert Allen. Got to meet him a couple of years ago at a mastermind.
Speaker 2:Okay 40 something years and, yeah, I always knew I wanted to do real estate. So in late 2002, an investor bought my neighbor's house in Vienna, virginia. I went and talked to him. He said, yeah, I buy houses at 30% below market, fix them up and resell them. I'm like, whoa, I didn't know you could do that. So I was like I'm going to make this happen.
Speaker 2:And I spent eight long months working at night. I had a newborn son. I'd come home, I'd spend two hours with him, put him to sleep. I'd work from 8 to 11. I'd work weekends. I was pounding, counting we Buy Houses signs each month, each week that went by, it was like no deal, no deals, no deals. But I kept showing up to these real estate meetings and hearing all these success stories and I'm like, if they can do it, I can do it. And I just became more and more persistent. So in July of 2003, I bought my first house. In July and August I bought six houses. I quit my full-time job in October. I came home and told the wife at the time she's like are you crazy? We have a newborn son and I've got two kids. I was like everything will be fine. And sure enough, 22 years later, everything has been fine. We're not still married, but everything's fine. 4,500 deals later.
Speaker 1:Life is good 4,500 deals you've done in your lifetime yeah, wow, brad, that's incredible. There's so much to unpack there. But I also want to talk about so that's the Real Estate Wisconsin connection. You and I met in a mastermind group and I think we became fast friends Maybe it was the Bucky and you, I don't know what it was but I remember going to my first meeting and you were just so nice to me and you were like, hey, let's go to lunch and whatever.
Speaker 1:We started talking. And I'm like, hey, let's go to lunch and whatever. We started talking. And I'm like, who is this guy so nice, he's so awesome. Then then we had some fun nights together after after hours and that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1:And then I came back to one of the meetings I had I hadn't been there for a little bit, cause we I think we had our daughter or son or something like that and I came back and you were like up talking about this transformation that you went through. And this is part of why I wanted, because the real estate stuff is awesome, right, that's why we do this podcast, that's why we love doing this stuff. But you and I both have dark things that all of us do, right, that can sometimes bog us down. They can cause us not to live our best life, and I wanted to bring you on today to talk a little bit about that transformation and where you were coming from, where you are now, and now you've helped so many other people live their best life. But talk a little bit about that transformation and journey and what got you to want to change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, let me say something first. There's someone who's hearing this, what you just said and they're like, okay, I'm tuning out, this is silly, this doesn't apply to me, but there's going to be someone who listens to this podcast and actually listens to the next 20 minutes or so and takes a step in a journey that will forever change their lives and their relationships and their health and their business and their kids for generations to come. This is how powerful this stuff is that I'm going to talk about. So four years ago I cannot believe it's been four years I was trying to get my son help for anxiety and I was on a Zoom call like this with a performance coach and this performance coach, within minutes, said you have a tick and I'm like what she's like. Yeah, you blink like crazy when you talk about your childhood. You may have some unresolved shit from your childhood that's actually affecting your son's anxiety. I'm like me no way, like I've been a single dad for years. I'm a great dad, no chance. But okay, if you think so, I'll go.
Speaker 2:So she invited me out for a weekend in Park City, utah, with her and her ex-Navy SEAL husband and brother. In the course of a weekend, actually a three-hour session laying in this bed in an Airbnb bedroom my life forever, forever changed. I came back a completely different human being. I mean completely Everything changed and I started telling people about my journey and there were people like my gosh, like this is incredible, like I'm learning more from you than I am from my therapist. So I started studying under some of the world's best and for the last two or three years, I have helped over a hundred people like radically transform their lives and I'm going to tell you like how it happened to me and I'm going to actually tell you the secret to life here in like 30 seconds. It's pretty profound.
Speaker 1:Let's go, baby, let's go.
Speaker 2:If you're driving, pull over, grab a piece of paper, a pen, or just re-listen to this Every negative behavior you have in your life, and we could sit here for hours, but I'm going to name, like some of the top 10 that come to my head. You shut down when your spouse says something that you don't like. You drink too much, you smoke too much weed, you eat too much, you smoke cigarettes. You have depression, anxiety. You work all the time. Your mind's always racing, you can't sleep, you're just always on edge. All of those negative behaviors that you've tried so hard to change are actually your brain's solution. It Something it thinks is worse over here. I'm holding up my hand right, just something over here. When you do the research, when you do the deep dive and you do the work that I do with so many people, you find out that this thing over here that's driving the negative behavior that you can't stop, is nothing more than an untruth.
Speaker 2:That was formed between the ages of birth and 10 years old. Why was it formed? Because bad shit usually happens to us. Or we think, or our needs weren't being met. So what do we do as kids? We always internalize it. In my case, dad would hit me with a belt and make fun of me. Well, if I was six years old and I looked at dad and I said, oh my God, dad's really effed up, right Guess what? I'd be completely helpless. So what does every kid do? They take the brunt of it and they say dad must be hitting me and making fun of me because there's something wrong with me. I'm a bad boy. That way, all I have to do is be a better boy and daddy will love me. So it helps us get through that time, but it destroys our lives.
Speaker 2:For me, $9 million worth of business mistakes and five mistakes, two marriages that didn't work, the use of weed and alcohol on a daily basis, two kids with behavioral problems. So let's get back to how we unwind this. We go and we look at these things that are driving the behavior. They're nothing more than untruths. We show the brain through a process, a scientific process called neuroplasticity. We actually rewrite the neural pathway by showing the brain how it's untrue, because your brain can't hold two conflicting thoughts. It's like a mismatch detector. You can literally rewrite the neural pathway that's holding those untruths. When you do that, corey, what do you?
Speaker 1:think happens to the negative behavior when you rewrite it. Well then, it's going to go away.
Speaker 2:It's going to go away. It's got nothing to fuel it, because every single one of those things that I mentioned you were not born with. There's not a person on this planet that was born with depression, anxiety or an eating disorder or a drinking problem, or a marijuana problem or shutting down. It was all learned behavior. So if you learned it, you can unlearn it, and that's what I've done and my life has been. These last four years have been spectacular.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I think for me, brad, when I met you and I saw you, I was like you could just see a different person. When you were up talking about this at the mastermind group, I was like, whoa, whatever Brad's on, I want it. I want that juice. And at the time, my wife and I were going through some tough times. We had young kids. We're dealing with all that. We've got this business that we're trying to grow.
Speaker 1:There's so many stressors, and then when you add the stressors plus all these untruths that we've told ourselves over the years, it just, it just spirals, right.
Speaker 1:It was like we'd get in these loops, man, like we'd get in these loops of like, like we'd blame each other for certain things. And so those of you listening out there, you're like, well, how the hell does this relate to real estate? Right, like our business could have just gone, poof gone, because we have to take care of our home base first. Not to mention like, how do I interact with employees that we have? Right, how do I interact with customers? How do I do, I do, I. Am I showing up every day as my best version of myself? No, not, when I'm in in these loops of untruths that keep happening over and over and over again. And that's why I think, like what you do, the work that you do and the stuff that you do to help people, and just the stuff you're consistently getting better at for yourself, is so important to unlock not only business growth but just personal growth, because without that you're going to be stuck right. You're never going to reach your full potential if you're stuck in these untruths right.
Speaker 2:Well, corey, I mean $9 million worth of. I made five mistakes that cost me $9 million. Some of those were related to real estate. I mean, it was almost all related to real estate. So my false belief was that I need to make a bunch of money so that people I can prove my worth, because I didn't feel worthy. So one of those nine mistakes was a house that we bought where we didn't even run a title search before we bought it. We ran the title search but we didn't know how to read it. We lost $930,000 on one house that we bought in North Arlington because we thought we could subdivide it.
Speaker 2:That was purely my limiting self-belief. So if you're asking yourself, like, what does it have to do with real estate? If you have a company and you have more than yourself, there's a really good likelihood that someone in your company or on your team has these limiting beliefs that's causing them to drink or have a bad marriage or eat unhealthy. Do you think that's affecting your bottom line? Of course it is. So I've already worked with people in my company here at Express Homebuyers that have some of these issues that have cleared them out, and they're different people. Do you think I'm getting more out of them now than I did before, of course, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1:It's such a. It's such a big, a big thing for so many people out there. What were talk about some of those mistakes that you made? So you talked about the subdivision one. What were some of the other ones that cost you big bucks?
Speaker 2:So I got involved in the we Buy Houses trademark lawsuit that cost me $1.9 million all over ego. I mean I should have just been like, fine, I'll take down the videos. But I felt like I had to take a stand because I think again this is the amazing part about all this is your subconscious brain controls 95% of your daily behavior. Your subconscious means you don't really know what's driving the behavior until you do the deep work. Only 5% is conscious. So we've got all these human beings 7 billion people, or how many billions Are we up to eight yet Eight billion.
Speaker 1:I had to do a census thing today and I was trying to figure out how to log back in and randomly saw the world population 8.1 billion. Okay, Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay. So there's 8 billion people and 99.9% of them are walking around drinking too much, eating too much, in a pissed off state and they don't even know what's fueling it. It's all in the subconscious mind. So the we Buy Houses lawsuit costs us $1.9 million. The other house cost us 900,000. This within 60 days. We bought the house, we bought a condo conversion in Adams Morgan and we bought a row house near the XM satellite headquarters in DC and we're like oh, we'll just put another. Oh, square footage is X hundred dollars, we'll just put another level on her. We didn't think we had to go to zoning. So those three deals the house and the other two cost us $3 million and the condo conversion took us over 10 years to extract ourselves from.
Speaker 1:Wow, how do you get out of it? So. So for me, when I was in the, in this looping phase and kind of in this negative state, and I'd been like this I think for years now in some aspects right, I always told you, brad, this too, like some part of me feels like the negative stuff that the quote unquote trauma from my childhood, which is like for me, I always was like I don't have trauma, I didn't get, I didn't get beat, I didn't. My parents were great, yeah, you know. And then, and then you and Annie at the time one of our friends who you know you started working with, you know you guys called it low T, I think, or not. Not low to me.
Speaker 1:It's a little little T low T is something else that also can affect, also can affect performance, right, we don't want that. But the little T stuff, right, it's like the uh. For me it was like you know some friends of mine when we were in high school, like they all went to some cottage and they didn't invite me and we were all close and I was like what the heck? Right, I'm. Now all of a sudden, I tell myself a story about that for the rest of my life, literally for the rest of my life, and I don't ever think about it. It's just unconsciously playing in the background of certain things, right, but and I don't even know where I was going with this, but I just you were saying how do you uncover?
Speaker 1:You were saying how do you yeah, so if somebody's stuck in this loop, somebody's stuck in like this just consistent behavior. For me the catalyst to get me out was like I noticed there was a pattern of you know, my wife and I's consistently like every six months we'd get stuck in this like just negative loop, right, and all of a sudden I became aware I'm like it keeps happening. It's gotta be something with me, all right. But then I saw you talking about it. I said okay, whatever he's got, I want that. But for some people, maybe this is the podcast that they're listening to that's going to help them out or whatever. But what are some ways people can start to start to make changes or start to make that first step, to start making a big difference in their life and start getting over?
Speaker 2:some awesome questions. So so every all change begins with awareness. You have to have awareness. So you get awareness by figuring out if you have some of these subconscious things. How do you do that? I can tell you in three minutes how to do it. If you go to our website, unlock, let Melissa youcom uh forward slash quiz. Go take the, the, the 30, the three minute 12 question, self-love quiz. 12-question self-love quiz.
Speaker 2:If you lack self-love or you have mild self-love, that's a surefire way of knowing that you have some of these limiting beliefs. So change usually comes from desperation or inspiration. Well, desperation is you're about to get divorced. I've had a lot of clients come to me where they're about to get divorced, or their weight's out of control, or they smoke or drink too much, or they've got depression or anxiety. Hopefully the show the second is inspiration, desperation or inspiration. Hopefully you're going to be inspired by my story and Corey's story to take the first step. So you take the first step by figuring out do you have something in your past? And then you go get help. There's on our website and other resources.
Speaker 2:We have this thing called the Joy Regenerator that actually teaches you step-by-step, when you're in this rut, how to get out of it because it never has to do with the actual situation, a relationship. The problem in a relationship is it's never the actual relationship, as you have come to find, corey, with your wife and you. It has to do all with the relationship that each individual has with themselves. So if your marriage sucks, if your relationship with your kids suck, or your friends or your business associates, it is going to be healed by you fixing the. You've got to always fix the relationship that you have with yourself and you're like well, why would I have a bad relationship with myself?
Speaker 2:Well, let's go back to the story. When my dad's hitting me with a belt and making fun of me, I'm telling myself I'm no good, I'm disconnecting from the real human being who God made me to be, because I feel like when I'm the real human being that I was meant to be, what happens to me? I get shame and physical violence and embarrassment placed upon me. So I don't like this guy. I'm going to be someone else, and most people spend their entire lives with this mask, on trying to be someone who they're not really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so true. And you know I think you said something earlier, brad, or something you know in our conversations nobody came out of the womb with any of this stuff, right? Nobody.
Speaker 2:Like it's all learned. It's all learned behavior right.
Speaker 2:Don't believe the bullshit about like serotonin levels and dopamine levels in your brain are causing depression. It's all a bunch of crap. That's all crap just to sell you drugs. 100 million Americans right now, as we speak, are on an antidepressant or anti-anxiety drug. Are you freaking, kidding me? Well, a third of the population. I had a doctor on my podcast. I have a podcast called how to Be Happier for Entrepreneurs Great podcast, by the way, thank you. This doctor came on and I said to him how many people do you think should be on drugs of those hundred million people? His answer was zero, zero. They don't freaking work. Now, do they work for some people that are in such a state that they came and start the healing process? Yes, but in general, they're, they're, they're, they're not effective yeah.
Speaker 1:When I was in, when I was in my first, one of my first big boy sales jobs. Growing up out of college, uh, I got on anti-anxiety stuff and it did it to get off that stuff. They don't tell you that when you go on it, but to try to get off of it. Ooh, that was nasty, it's highly addictive.
Speaker 1:Oh xanax we're back now. Okay, I lost you for a second, but yes, xanax, where I lost you, highly addictive, yeah, yeah, that's crazy. So, brad, talk about one of the tools that you use, and maybe you mentioned this before, but one of the things you mentioned, uh, or that has helped me a lot, is identifying, like when I'm in a situation, I identify it and then I end with gratitude. Can you talk a little bit about that process of like now, for as you go through it, it becomes quicker and quicker as you practice it. But talk a little bit about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what used to take me days with my former marriages now takes me minutes or sometimes seconds. I mean, this is the basis of the joy regenerator. So anytime you feel a negative emotion, you are in a fight or flight state and, by the way, you can get in that state by talking negatively to yourself. So if you're talking negatively to yourself, stop it, because your brain actually doesn't know the difference between you or a stranger. It releases cortisol. Cortisol is a inflammatory. Most diseases and autoimmune and cancer's basis is in inflammation. So stop talking negatively to yourself. So if you feel a negative emotion, you're in fight or flight, which means you're not in the present. So just do a breathing exercise, whatever's comfortable for you. Breathe, you know the box, navy seal box breathing In for three or four seconds, hold for three or four seconds, blow out for three or four seconds, hold and repeat. Now that you are hopefully present, you're going to identify the emotion that you're feeling.
Speaker 2:I'm feeling sad. If you're angry, there's usually, as Eckhart Tolle says, there's always almost always underlying sadness or unresolved hurt. So let's just say I'm feeling sad. Then give yourself compassion for that emotion, because most of us didn't get that as a child, and it's not your adult self that's feeling sad, it's your subconscious six-year-old that's feeling sad. What would you do if your six-year-old self came up to you and said I'm sad? Would you say go drink a beer, go smoke a joint, get out of here, scram you piece of junk. No, you'd pick up that little boy or girl and you'd say it's going to be okay, I'll sit here with you until you're not sad. I love you. You're a great human being. That's what you need to do to yourself. Then you throw in what can you be grateful for? Three or four things, no matter what situation you're in. If you live in the United States, you got a thousand things to be grateful for. Then you ask yourself where is this coming from? Well, that's the work that we do with our clients. We help you identify it. I did it with you, I've done it with myself.
Speaker 2:So anytime I feel a negative emotion, it goes back to the thought of I'm not enough. No matter if it's on the pickleball court, on the golf course with my girlfriend, with my kids. Anytime I feel a negative emotion, it has nothing to do with the actual situation, because the actual situation is just an event. I should just be seeing as an event. Why am I feeling emotions? Because that little boy is going back to a time at six years old and saying this makes me feel like that and bring it in there.
Speaker 2:So then I asked myself okay, every you have a thought that creates an emotion. That emotion creates a behavior, and that behavior often reinforces the thought. Why do we have this? It's for survival. The thought is I see a lion, I get scared. That's the emotion. Blood pumps to my legs so I can run. But guess what? Fear and anger that's kept us alive for six million years destroys us now. So we don't need that anymore, because we're not being chased by lions.
Speaker 2:So let's go back to the thought. The thought creates everything. It's the start of everything. Every problem you have in your life right now is a thinking problem. If you don't believe it, you're telling yourself an untruth. So back to the joy regenerator, back to getting out of this cycle.
Speaker 2:I asked myself what am I believe? What is the thought that created the sadness? And it's for me, it's always. You're not enough. So I say is that true? No, it's not true. I am more than enough.
Speaker 2:Then I ask myself well, why am I going to stay in a sad state based on the thought that's not even true. I'm not. And then if you want to take that one step further with your spouse or significant other. Corey, what you just said made me feel really sad. It's not your fault, but could we would you help me explore it so that I can heal and we can become better connected, rather than what I used to do, when my spouse would come to me and say blah, blah, blah, I'd turn it on them. That would be the fight.
Speaker 2:I'd say, well, you did this, this and this, and then I'd be cold and distant. For three days I had this weight on my chest. I hated it. I couldn't control it. But now I know why Because I felt like that little boy, that if I am my authentic self and I speak up and I say I'm sorry, I love you, then they would have pulled their love, just like my dad did, and I would have gotten kicked out of the tribe. You get kicked out of the tribe, you die. So all of this shit, by the way, it's all survival. None of this stuff is your fault that you're going through no-transcript. But now you have a better way and you understand. It's not your fault. It's likely something your parents or caregivers did. It's not their fault either. They were doing the best they could, and as an adult, you can give that little kid inside of you everything that you didn't get as a child.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know something else too, brad, that after going through this process with you and and going through that, we did five sessions, I believe, right and go after. I got through that and I got. I got to identify this. I used the joy regenerator. I did all these things. Right, I started to just look at people differently, right, I started seeing that like, if they're acting a fool, right, you're like man, what is I used to be like? This guy's an idiot idiot.
Speaker 2:What an asshole what an a-hole.
Speaker 1:Whatever, yeah, all this stuff right, and now I'm like man. I wonder what that dude went through when he was a kid. Yes, right, like it's just a totally and I'm not perfect at it, like I still mean, I still judged from time to time and do all this stuff. It's definitely helped me. When I'm more you go back to thing right when I am aware and I am practicing some of these things, I have a lot more compassion for other people and that helps in so many other relationships, right? Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Because for years, you judge, judge, judge, just like me, because if you're judging someone, you're judging yourself. You didn't feel good about it. Now you're into compassion. You're into curiosity. Yeah, you want to talk about real estate and getting a better business. Instead of judging your employees, get curious and figure out what's driving them. Every single person's actions is a call for love or a show of love. If your wife comes up, puts her arm around you and kisses you, that's a show of love. If your wife talks nasty to you and says you're a blah, blah, blah, that's a call of call for love. She's sad, she's hurting. We as human beings get to respond in only two ways in love or in fear and ego, and you and me, for most of our lives, probably responded in fear and ego. The more you respond in love to other people and yourself, the better your life is going to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, and that's it's still. I will say this to the audience here it is still a challenge to remember this stuff. That's why, listening to podcasts like this, listening to Brad's podcast I listen to your podcast all the time, because I need to constantly be hearing it, right, I need to be that awareness. I need that awareness all the time. Otherwise I go back to my reactive state of my. You know, my subconscious kicks in the little computer running, without anybody knowing it, it kicks in and all of a sudden I'm back to you.
Speaker 1:It's just this back and forth, just venom coming out of two, two people's mouths. And again, like, I can't control the other person, right, I can only control myself and how I react to something. Right, amen, yeah, so what are some? What are some other tips and things, brad, somebody could do? If they're like and if they wanted to work with you, like, how would this, how would this process work, if somebody said man, this sounds amazing. I, I'm in a spot where I want to be living my best life and I don't want to be stuck in these, these negative loops all the time.
Speaker 2:How did they go take the quiz? First of all, because it's it's, it'll tell you so much. And then on our site, you can book a call. Yvonne is my partner. You'll likely have a call with her. She's absolutely amazing, she's helped a lot.
Speaker 2:She's helped a lot of people in our group that you know, friends of ours, so that that's the best way. Unlock limitless youcom. Take the quiz book a call. It's got you know. It's a kind of a free 30 minute session. She's pretty amazing. She actually I just will talk to you. She'll actually go in and do a, an actual session with you. That might unearth something that's like wow, this is interesting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, she's great. I remember we we did a free one with we had some of our team out at the mastermind and we had just like within 30 minutes I think we had a lot of crying going on for the team, but it was unbelievable to see how quickly she could. She could get us to unlock some things.
Speaker 2:You had like three team members that had some pretty big, big breakthroughs yeah, including you, I forget, I forget what you had one there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I think it was this whole high school thing, like the whole buddies thing. I think that's where I unlocked that one, you know. But what's interesting, brad, as as we talk about, this, stuff is going through that. The process with you guys was great. I got to be more aware of some of these things that had impacted me from years past. But then, like just consistently, like not even consistently, just like, okay, now we're going to go have Devon talk to me even again on another session. Boom, I unlocked another one. Yeah, and I'll unlock another one. And it's like where is this coming from? Like this was 30 years ago or whatever. Why care about you know it's? It's almost so silly. Once you unlock it, you're like what in the world? Why do I give a rip about that? Or why am I still telling myself these things 30, 40 years later?
Speaker 2:Well, why are you? It's very simple, it's all around survival. This goes, this goes back to we've been around for 6 million years, I think, on this planet. The brain has done an amazing job of surviving. How, by telling ourselves stories like that.
Speaker 2:When my dad was hitting me, I had to survive by saying why is this happening? Well, you must be bad. So again, at 45, when you're shutting down with your spouse, it's just, it's a survival thing. That's why we're doing it. That's why none of when the guy's coming home and drinking 12 beers a night and being like I don't know why I'm doing this, it's all wrapped up in survival. Now, that that may be too. If someone did, if someone just heard that and didn't listen to the first part, they're like what is this nut job talking about? But it is because the drinking is keeping them from the painful thing over here that that is going to get them kicked out of the tribe. And if you get kicked out of the tribe, you is going to get them kicked out of the tribe. And if you get kicked out of the tribe, you are alone and you die.
Speaker 1:What about Brad? For me, like mine was, my big one was always kind of just like I, I retreat, I'll go work. That's my, that's my, uh, default mechanism. What is the for those people out there that are like that, like, oh, I'm working, so I'm going to go retreat to my office and work all the time, is that?
Speaker 2:yeah, we. We have a mutual friend that mentioned names that that that is an appointment time in his life where he's our age but he could retire. He's done really well but despite that, he and before seeing me he was working these crazy hours and it was because his dad was never around. And if you're, if one of your parents is never around, you got to make sense of it and you do net. You never say, oh, dad's out earning for the family, that's great. No, why isn't dad here? It must be me, remember.
Speaker 2:It comes back to me Dad's not here because something's wrong with me. So a lot of people one of my great mentors, marissa Pierre, and she's helped thousands and thousands of people over the last 40 years. She's like I've never met anyone who was a workaholic that had high self-esteem. So the work, the work thing, is just a distraction from not feeling enough. And if I just keep working and keep making more money, first I'll distract myself from these bad thoughts, but then, if I have enough money, just like me, people will love me and I'll be able to prove my worth.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's why you and I connected so quickly, cause we both have the same, the same coping mechanism, right? Or the same, the same belief system, right, yeah, and it's what's so true to. It is, when you do that, joy regenerator. For me. It always came back to I'm not enough, like even having like my kids right, this is a struggle that you and I talked about when we were working together. It was like oh, I get so frustrated with one of my kids, right. And like why am I so mad? Like why does it bother me so much that he's disrespectful, right. And then it would come down to like the sadness ultimately of like well, he must not respect me because I'm not a good dad, or whatever. It was Right. And then it was like is that true? No, it's not true, I'm a great dad. And then I was like tough spot get curious and get grateful. Those are the two things I always try to remember, like be curious, why am I feeling this way? And be grateful for everything else that I have.
Speaker 1:I actually have a sign. Carrie made me a sign, for we now have it hanging up in our closet back home. So every time I walk in, I see be grateful, be curious, right it's?
Speaker 2:always. That's beautiful. There's one thing I told you and I think it's helpful for the listeners to understand when your kid is misbehaving, kids only misbehave for one reason they lack a connection with a parent. So what we often do is they misbehave and then we get mad because of how we feel inferior and then we yell at them, we scream, some people hit them, some people put them in timeouts and shut the door and lock their door or whatever. That's the last thing that they need. If you're doing that, please stop. When your kid is misbehaving, go connect with them. I told you this Take the kid, look at him in the eye, say I love you. What do you need right now, rather than further disconnecting them? We have all these juveniles in detention centers and stuff. It's like why do they misbehave in the first place? Probably because they came from a really rough family. And what are we doing? We're going to further isolate them and disconnect them by kick, putting them in a freaking detention center. It's like oh no, that's not. That's not the way to do it.
Speaker 1:Right yeah, that's society that we live in, though. Right yeah, absolutely Well, brad, this has been awesome. We always end with a fun question, and since you have the old Bucky connection here, I think I know where we're going to go here. So the last question we always ask is what's your favorite Wisconsin tradition or place to visit in the Wisco?
Speaker 2:Man, I didn't even know about brats until I went to Wisconsin Getting up at eight. I'm going to weave in a couple of things Getting up at eight o'clock in the morning to start drinking beer before game day, that started 11. And having a brat around 10 or 11 after three or four beers. That's probably the best.
Speaker 1:Not anymore, though Not now.
Speaker 2:No, I don't really do. I mean, I drink occasionally when I'm on vacation, but I don't, I don't mess with it much. It's a it's bad business.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's absolutely Well, man, this has been awesome, so I'm going to put those links I wrote them down to the podcasts in the show notes and to the quiz, for sure. And then you have the other one, the joy regenerator, on there as well, so I can put that in the show notes as well for everybody in here, and for everybody in here again, brad, if you just had to sum it up in one sentence how does this relate to real estate investing and everything we talked about today?
Speaker 2:So I mean real estate, investing and everything in life. You're being driven by your subconscious thoughts, and your subconscious thoughts 100% of the time hold stuff from when you program them just like a computer. Most of the programming came in the first 10 years of your life. So if you want to get better or stop negative behaviors, you've got to go back and figure out what were those stories that you told yourself when your brain was reprogrammed, was programmed and just reprogram. It's literally that easy. It happened in three hours with you. It happened in three hours. It's usually between hour three and four with our clients that major life shifts happen. You don't have to go to 30 years of therapy Like I did. You don't have to take drugs. You don't have to know it's it's. It's really not that hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it, man. Well, audience, if you guys want to get in touch with Brad, I'll put all the information in the show notes. Like I said, go get in touch with him If you're happy, if you, if you feel like any of this stuff resonated with you today, if you're still listening to Brad's got to offer here, and I think it's a it's a life-changing thing for sure. Uh, you know we're only here for a short time. Why live in misery? Why not live the best life you can possibly live? And getting past a lot of that stuff that was programmed early on is going to unlock a lot of things for you, similar to why, uh, brad's uh business is unlock limitless. You right, it's. It's really a great name because it sums up exactly what Brad can do for you guys and his company. So, brad, any final thoughts before we depart?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean. A lot of entrepreneurs get into business like I did, thinking if I make this amount of money, I'm going to feel happy. No amount of money can ever give you the feeling that you're looking for. And here's the secret Through our coaching, we can get you to that state that you think $10 million is going to bring you today. And when you get in that state today, the chances of you making the $10 million go through the roof, because you're not trying to make money to prove your worth. You're now trying to make an impact, and when you try to make an impact in people's lives, the money always comes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, such a good point there and if you guys got some value out of this show, share the show. I've been saying on the last few episodes, the ripple effect of you guys sharing this show is huge. It's not necessarily so we can grow some huge audience right, it's like what Brad's talking about so we can make an impact. This could be the episode somebody needs to hear to make a profound change in their life which is going to change their kids' lives, which is going to change their kids' lives, and so on and so forth. So share the show. If you guys are looking for off-market deals, like I said at the start, go to wiscotsadiscountpropertiescom. If you're not ready to get deals sent to you, just go on there and hit contact us. We'd love to have a conversation with you first and get to know you a little bit, find out where you're at in your journey in this real estate business and see if we can help connect you and guide.
